Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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