i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
