I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
