The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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