is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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