He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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