he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
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he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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