super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
