If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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