i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!