My room smells like vodka and shame
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
