At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
