So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
