Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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