you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
