This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
