so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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