It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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