I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
