A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize