So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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