Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
