I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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