Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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