do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
