the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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