hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
