a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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