Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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