There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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