why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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