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I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
