Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
