Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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