i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
