Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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