I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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