I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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