Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
