How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
