Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
