im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
