i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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