The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sorry my hands just texted you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize