just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
