I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
