After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
