Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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