And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
