I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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