i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
