just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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