you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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