he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
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I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
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I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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