so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
