I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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