now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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