just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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