I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
