i think my mom watched the whole time
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
