he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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