im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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