I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
