I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
