please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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