I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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