He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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