Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
