It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize